Sitting in the FRONT row of Broadway’s Chicago AND the ladysitting right behind you in the second row has on a god-awful noisy, loud, tinkling, clinking, chiming, binging, banging, ringing put-a-bullet-in-your-head bracelet and she waves and waves her hand.  She waves and waves her hand and welcomes parade goers with her hand, and says good-bye to cruise ships with this hand and waves and waves and waves.

In the words of Chicago, I thought, “if you wave that jingle bell hand one more time, I am going to fire two warning shots – – -into your head.”

Seriously readers, do you have any tips for dealing with sitting in theatres in front and I mean dead in front of Satan when the wrappers come off, the gum gets popped, the water bottle gets crinkled, and the GOD D***** lady won’t stop swiping her hand sideto side like a bad impression of a drag queen trying to give out “hand attitude”.  Help me.
Polite words, the evil look, the grin and bear it?  What?

Write me – – some jingle bell ladies just can’t hold their arsenic.